One Thing I Cannot Explain Volume I
by ToxicPoo
Summary: ***Warning, contains spoilers from anime and manga*** When Astoria is killed in a car accident, something goes wrong and her old memories are still present when she is born into another life. In this world, titans rule the earth and eat people in horrific manners. Will Astoria survive the fall of Shiganshina Distrist? Or die in a gruesome death? We all know what it will be... -.-
1. Chapter 1: A New World, a New Story

**Authors Note:**

**Hello people of the world, this is Toxic Poo, and I know there is a bunch, no, a crap load of reincarnation stories out there with the usual 'Writing things done in the notebook to remember what the heck happens' in these type of stories. I'm pretty sorry that I put one in this story too, but it's the only thing I can think of. Anyways, here is my new story, 'One Thing I Cannot Explain' a reincarnation tale… (Warning, this story contains spoilers.).**

**See you in the end!**

**Attack on Titan, , and more things in here bedsides the plot and OC characters do not belong to me!**

**P.S. If you see an ' XXXXxXXXX ', than that means it changes perspectives, and/or goes to a different setting.**

**Chapter 1: A New World, a New Story**

Imagine a world filled with a beautiful sky, a wonderful world with no crime, and everyone was as joyful as a toddler getting his favorite Elmo toy. By the way, that kid frikin' loved Sesame Street, like, he would do anything for a toy like that. Anyways, I want you to close your eyes and imagine a world as pretty as that one. Wait, don't close your eyes, you need to read.

As much as you would love that world to exist, it would be impossible. A world with only kindness needs some hate, and that hate in the Shiganshina District, or anywhere else in that world, were titans. Man-eating beasts that walked on the humans' world without a care. Those mysterious monsters would devour any human on sight without any sign of hesitation, scary, I know. But, everything has something better, or worse. Although you may thinkr worse. Although you may thing it might be a planet where everyone eats poop and speaks with their noses, it is something you live on, walk on, love on, and communicate with people you know, or possibly hate on. You know what that is?

Planet Earth. You don't say?

Hunger, diseases, over 200 species being extinct every single day, over-population, murderous people, psycho people, cannibals, poison, corn syrup, crime that is happening every single day, crime happening **everywhere. **This only makes up a tiny bit of our world's flaws. More can be said, but you wouldn't want to read a boring list with certain depressing things, would ya'?

Like I said earlier, something with only kindness needs to have something awful. Planet Earth has many pros too. Like, like, oh! Creativity! Creativity can lead to great success in various jobs. For example, in writing occupations, drawing occupations, being a musician, a game designer, the possibilities are completely endless! However, criminals, murderers, assassins, and more evil jobs have creativity involved.

Now, you may be thinking, "Dude, tell us about the god dang reincarnation story!"

Well, darn! Hold yo' horses up in there! I'll get to it…

8 billion people walk the Earth at the moment and more people are while I am talking. I will pick one "lucky" victim to be our beautiful star in this story. Hmmm, ah! Here we are, one little kid, er, no, not little. She's probably 15-17 years old. Very silky dark hair, it looks like it's down to her waist, yep. It looks like she has shining brown eyes. A bit of an athletic skill, I can say that. Curved nose and defined pink lips. Awesome!

Wait, did I introduce myself to you? Oh, sorry! Ahem, my name is Karma, and, no, I'm not the actual Karma, he's right next to me, say hi, Karma. "Hi." Well, life Karma has to run some errands, so I guess I'll get to work… Okay. Where was I? Oh, I'm just gonna watch her, no, I am not a stalker. I'm just going to see how she is until we send her to… That place. I'm sure she'll survive.

**XXXXxXXXX**

Day: November 19, 2251

"Dobo…. Dobo…. Dobo…. Dobo…." I sighed. I was bored out of my mind. I clicked the remote's arrow key to channel surf. I hate that sound, but it is pretty smart to make a sound effect if you ask me. My mom would just say, "There's plenty of things to do, go outside and play, the internet, watch TV, I don't know!?" I looked around my room as I studied my dirty desk that my mom scolded me for not dusting it in a lifetime. I crawled out of my creaky bed and wobbled to the desk like a baby's first time walking. The name 'Astoria' was spelled across a paper in the neatest hand writing on the desk. Below were the numbers ' 12/3/2235 ' basically, it was my birthday, and above it was my name. I always thought that this name I have to keep for my whole life was a very beautiful one. No one has that name at my school.

I picked up the light piece of paper and snatched the pencil next to it. I grabbed the back of the chair and moved it outwards and plopped on it as I than, scooted myself inwards and worked on the 'masterpiece'. My hand made gentle curves with the pencil and resulted in detailed lines into it. I softly wiped away the extra pencil led popping out of the top of it and lifted up the art.

_Too messy._

I am a bit of a clean freak even though it takes a lot of lectures to make me get out of who-knows-what-I'm-doing task and get me to clean. The thing is, I will go over my limit and clean the whole house if you're successful.

I looked at the back of the paper and saw a whole pack of dust like someone put a bunch of it in a can and poured it like a tsunami onto everything I drew. "Darn it!" I yelled in a furious manner. I don't like to cuss, it makes me seem bad and ignorant for some reason. I pushed back the old chair I was sitting on and ripped apart the paper, and crumbled it afterwards. I aimed for the trashcan in my room and threw the paper in it. After that, I angrily stomped out of my room and went to the bathroom where millions of cleaning supplies were stored. I swung open the black cabinets which made a "Creak!" As I was grabbing the wet wipes, I didn't realize the cabinet's door was rushing to make me wail in agony by hitting my elbow, no, my **funny bone.**

"**BAM!**"

"AGH!" I yelled in pain as I reached for my elbow in a second. I curled into a ball as I rocked back and forward holding it as tight as I can in an awkward manner. Footsteps can be heard and my name was being called.

"Astoria? Astoria? Are you all right?" My mom yelled across the hall.

"Yes, I'm alright, my funny bone just got bonked with a huge cabinet!" I said in a very sarcastic tone.

I got up from my weird position to quickly wobble and rub my bruise. "Astoria! Astoria, oh sweetie, are you alright?!" She asked in a worried squeak again. She than, rubbed my arm and hugged me constantly until I spoke.

"Yeah, mom, I'm alright." I replied after trying to realize what had happened. I hadn't noticed that the bruise has turned to an ugly shade of purple. Ouch…

**XXXXxXXXX**

Day: November 19, 2251

About 10 hours had passed before that painful bruise formed. I can still remember that disgusting agony when it first hit me. Fortunately, the icepack that my mom gave me made the minor injury feel better. But, that was the past, well, to me. Right now, I'm trying to get into a comfortable position in my bed. The clock near my window, above the bed, keeps on ticking, making me fall into a peaceful sleep quicker than I expected. My eyes drooped down while my body grew numb. Faster and faster, I fell into a long sleep.

_Hot tears are streaming down my cheeks as I run, and run, and run. My feet feel like I was stepping on hot coal earlier. I search for safety. At least it seems like it. I never turn around, which made me feel anxious. This place was not my home. My home was filled with cars, skyscrapers, people, __**alive **__people. This world. I shouldn't say world, I should say universe. This universe I was sucked into didn't have someone smear blood everywhere. And when I say everywhere, I mean everywhere. Boulders are being tossed into the air from who-knows-where, while people are scurrying to several boats that were crowding the water. I decided to go there. I thought that I should go there anyways._

_Screams. More screams. Disturbing images are flooding my mind with life dying everywhere. This is when I __**need**__ to know what's happening. This resulted in turning back. I'm a curious little critter. _

_My eyes widen, my body goes completely numb. I try with all my effort to move, but fail miserably. Huge, humanoid, men with gigantic ear-to-ear smiles that contained a huge amount of blood on their faces, but mostly on their lips, were chasing people. Eating people. Without __**hesitation. **__What do I do? I can't just stand here in horror. I need to do something, and quick._

"_Boom, boom, boom." I turn my head, slowly, very slowly; still trying to process what the heck is going on._

"_Boom, boom, BOOM." I see death in front of my eyes. He picks me up. I don't know what to do, he's just grabbing me. Is he hostile? Is he not like the rest? He then, raises his other hand and places it on my head. I stand corrected. I'm unable to breathe, this is the end, my world is crumbling before me. No, this universe is. The unknown universe. _

"_**SNA-"**_

"GAH!" I'm trembling, shaking in fear. Tears are running down my cheeks while those images, horrific images, instantly flow into my mind. I scream once more, in terror that the day those men were eating people is still happening. I grab the blankets, nails digging deep, and yell, "M-MOM!" That's when it hit me, she's not home. She just has to be at work doing paperwork. Ever since my parents' divorce, I've lived with my mom. She's been working her butt off trying to make money for us to survive in our harsh world. I tear off the blankets and lean on my elbow to push myself up. I lift my arm up rapidly as I felt a sharp pain in it.

"Flippin' flamingos!" I scream in agony. More tears are streaming out of my eyes, still traumatized tears, but also a-type-of-feeling tears.

_Boom, boom, boom, boom._

I look up in confusion, that's when I knew it was just my imagination. Usually, I try telling myself I'm brave and hum a little lullaby to myself. Also, I just think about my friends and what I'm gonna do tomorrow or a week from now. After trying to think about how my life is amazing and how my friends love me (I should say, how my 19 friends love me), I decide to open my computer and go on the internet. So I did, using all the effort I can and all the strength I had to ignore the pain from my elbow, I leaned over my bed and got up. I than, carefully walked to my dirty desk (that I haven't cleaned yet), and pick up the electronic. Unplugging the charger from the side, I picked it up and ran to my bed, this time, a bit more scared than before. After that, I started the computer, and went to

'The Scary World called: The Internet

Side effects may involve:  
Being bullied out of your mind, eye pain, headaches, traumatizing videos, and more side effects. For more info, click here:

Something you will never click . com

Yeah, yeah, my humor is a bit rusty.

Anyways, I decided to watch a show that my friend recommended to me, something along the lines of 'Attack on Titan'. I typed the name in and clicked ' ' since my friend also included that. After thinking about them, my tears faded away, than, I clicked on the first episode and sunk into my bed, excited about a new show to watch.

After the loading sign was finished, I squealed with excitement. I watched carefully.

"On that day, mankind received a grim reminder… Of the terror of being at mercy…-"

I squinted at the sight of the shadow forming over the humongous wall. Humongous wall… My eyes widened, remembering the nightmare I just had a few minutes ago. I was focusing on the titan, but behind him, I think I remembered, remembered that there was a huge, ginormous gray wall. I had no words. I couldn't even speak. Every time I tried opening my small mouth, I couldn't let more than a squeak related to a whisper escape. Now, I'm starting to think this day is the weirdest day of my life, end of the conversation, alright?

I slam my hand on the bed, completely forgetting to pause the video that I did not dare to lay eyes on again.

_I'm a curious critter…_

I looked. I thought this was just a coincidence of some sort. Was this a cruel joke by God? Some important figure? My mind was bouncing, I feel like I'm getting sick, I'm starting to feel dizzy.

"Split into five groups just as we practiced!" A man with short, flowing, blond hair yelled. He was sitting on a galloping horse going so fast, I didn't think I couldn't go that far without breaking my back from the impact of falling off. "We'll act as the bait! All assault squads switch to omni-directional gear!" He screamed. As the camera showed the people on the galloping horses use their who-knows-what rope thingies, I was like, what the? After that scene, it showed a few soldiers going from tree to tree without in any need of help and surround a… Thing so familiar.

What

The

Heck.

This has to be a joke. I know that I am always so confused but excited at the same time when I see something from my dream that I have no idea about come to my eyes in real life, but, this? This isn't funny. This isn't exciting, or confusing. It's scary. I slam the lid of the laptop and toss it on my bean bag chair that's not far from me. I cover my eyes and rapidly pull the blankets over my face, creating darkness that I can only see now. After that terrifying experience, I shut my eyes tight and try going to sleep.

You know, if I had succeeded on bribing my mom to buy any pet, a cat, a dog, even those goldfish with only 3 seconds of attention spans, I would feel a **lot** safer right now.

**XXXXxXXXX**

Day: November 20, 2251

Daylight was shining in my window, it turns out it was raining last night and I didn't even notice from my loud crying. The light was making it glisten into my window. It looked beautiful. "Snap out of it, Astoria!" I yelled out loud. I looked at the clock thinking it was another boring Monday, luckily it wasn't, and I jumped out of my bed and took care of my hygiene. It's always my face that gets the greasiest once done sleeping.

After I finished a nice, hot, bath, I got dressed in a shirt with a cute little dragon and black sweatpants I don't really take my image seriously like the other girls at my school. That's probably the result of why I only have 19 friends.

I sigh, forgetting about last night's thoughts and screams. But then, it hit me like yesterday night when I forgot my mom wasn't home. I started to whimper because, first, my mom wasn't home and **still** isn't, secondly, I had a nightmare, third, that nightmare had something to do with that evil show that I have nothing to do with, and lastly, I missed the rain. I walked back to the couch that I was sitting on to watch TV and thought.

_This is just a coincidence._

I smiled at the thought, no longer sad and cold. I felt a bit better, just a bit, so I started to hum a quiet song and walk to my room. I grabbed the computer that was carelessly tossed on to the bean bag chair and also snatched the headphones on my dusty desk (I swore I would clean it today). I skipped to the living room filled with bookcases and familiar aromas. I quickly sat down and plugged in the ear-plugs and booted up the small electronic.

**XXXXxXXXX**

Day: December 6, 2254

3 years later

17 years old. That was quick. I was expecting something… Less. At least I would say it like that. I have no idea how to put that sentence into something more understandable. My 4th year in high school, to be honest, was pretty easy. I studied my butt off just to pass. Besides having 'smarts', I am actually working on improving my athleticism. I can run 8 miles only stopping 5 times! I could only do 1 with 5 stops when I was in the 1st year. Speaking of athleticism, I've been practicing 4 sports along the lines of lacrosse, basketball, soccer, and football. And I've also gained over 200 friends. I think. The only thing that I still have trouble with are my 'fake friends'. They only want to be friends with the popular people to make themselves look cool. 200 friends aren't big enough to what the 'girly girls' have though. According to their 13 years of life at school, I'm sure they made more than 600 friends. I just keep it nice and quiet where ever I'm sitting. But the best part about this? I've overcome the blood and gore of Attack on Titan, and now it's one of my favorite shows (or you can call it anime) ever. I've memorized almost every line in all the episodes… I don't think that's healthy.

The worst? Those spoilers. From the manga, of course.

_Oh, Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt are the titans!_

_Oh, Grisha Jaeger was a titan shifter._

I wanted them to be wiped off the earth when I haven't even got there yet.

If anime was wiped off this earth, I would cry… A lot. But something worse happened. My mom had become depressed 1 year ago and attempted to commit suicide from the pressure of the divorce and the work she put up with. Unfortunately, after 2 attempts of failing, she succeeded on the third. I wanted to move towards alcohol, but I needed to make her proud of what I can do, so I moved to sports, I made myself smarter, and also faster. Now, I also live with my step mom and father. They're okay, but now I can see why my mom divorced him. That's why I stick with my step mom. She's actually pretty cool if you ask me.

My life was about to change.

All that time put into making my family happy…

Was now wasted.

It first started when I was asleep. That dream from 3 years ago came back. And, now, telling from the scene, I automatically knew that this was no coincidence.

This is my future.

Secondly, my dad passed away from being murdered from a man who made a stupid deal with him. I still don't know what it was about, and my step mom doesn't know either. I hear her crying every night because of his stupidity of carelessly going away to the bar and drinking. After hearing that, I always thought he was sober. I felt awkward, very awkward. A feeling I have never felt before just popped up inside me, confusion mixed with sadness and hatred.

Lastly, my step mom is now drinking, and I'm getting pretty upset. I'm hiding it away from her, but she keeps getting mad at me and threatening to slap me if I don't show her. All of it, wasted.

I just wish I can have another chance, another life and adventure.

And that's just what I got.

When I was at my school after Sunday, I saw a key, one that looked like it was made out of gold, at least, to me. If it was, it would have already been gone. I took it and shoved it in my backpack as fast as I could so no one would see. It had a diamond shaped hole at the top and the inserting part at the bottom. According to that, I knew something was wrong. It looked just like that key to the basement from AoT (Attack on Titan/ Snk, Shingeki no Kyojin). This led me to think that the Shiganshina District is my future, but how? How will I get there? I worried so much that I started to write most of this crap in a notebook.

Before this, I was talking about my friends, but a few more months, they were leaving me. Not my 19 best friends, they're always by my side, but almost 100 of them left, thinking they can get away from someone in need. Now, my 19 friends:

Alexie,

Sandra A.,

Elizabeth,

Maddie,

Brittany,

Lilly,

April,

Link (yes Link, that elf guy… His name is Link, but he's not an elf…),

Heather,

Kathleen,

Peter,

Sandra I.,

Tiff,

Shirisa,

Leticia,

Marly,

Victor,

Jane,

And Josie,

Are by my side, like always, comforting me until my last breathe.

My last breathe.

Is now.

I was crying, crying a lot, too many days have gone and I needed freedom. I would lock myself in my room until my tears would stop rolling down my cheeks. Every last drop would stop until the next day would come. Surprisingly, I never cut. I would never do that, I also donated to charity a few times when I got the chance to. Even though I was doing acts of kindness, I still felt alone.

Today, I was walking down a busy street. I was walking to school, like every day now since my mom can't take me. As soon as I placed my left foot onto the cold, shattered, old road, I heard a buzzing noise from the corner. A truck. A huge truck was coming my way. I was paralyzed thinking, _"What do I do? Snap out of it, Astoria! It's so close you need to ru-"_

I had no last words. The pain that I later felt was the worst feeling I have ever felt in my lifetime of 17 years. Bones shattering, blood squirting, fingers curling, the pain was so overwhelming. The last thing I saw was the truck driving away at a very high speed. I'm guessing he thought nothing happened. It angered me, I knew it, but I didn't know at the same time. The pain was higher than the feeling. The driver was a hit and run. After that, I know I died. I had no more chances; no more hope, for I have lost this one.

**XXXXxXXXX**

Day: Unknown

Do you know that feeling when you think about others around you and how life was created? About the meaning of life and what it was created for?

Was it for an experiment? A sickening torture made just for us?

I know I have. Every day, I have thought about life, about how many sick things happen and why we are all here. 8 billion people are walking on this earth and more every second. Sadly, most of their chances of getting a college degree or an exciting job are canceled due to laws of unforgivable reasons. Some of them are canceled due to murders and illnesses.

The world is a sick place.

I remember everything that happened, that pain, that screaming around me, those cars swerving past me out of a scared feeling. Aside from that, my memory will be erased for good. I'm glad that it will. But, those friends that I loved and they loved me back would be mortified. I'm dead… For good.

I'm floating around in a big place of limbo. _Where am I? What am I doing here? Am I still alive? Is this death?_ Certain questions flooded my mind.

_Why am I here?_

That's when I saw a huge light in the distance. I don't know what happened though, I just remember floating towards it without moving any muscle in my body.

**XXXXxXXXX**

Day: Still unknown

"WOOOOHAAAAAAH AHHHHHH!" A terrible screech came from somewhere. I have no idea where. I can't feel anything though. I try studying my surroundings but loose interest in a couple of seconds.

_Where am I? _I think again. I am suddenly able to move. My arms rapidly flail around with hesitation. I look at everything in confusion.

"WOAAAAAAAAAHAAAA!"

"AHHHHH!"

I suddenly hear voices to the side, that's when I stop crying and see her. The person who places me on her lap is very gentle and carefully makes sure not to break me. I grab the woman's hand and smile. I try to speak but the only thing coming out is a squeak, a whine, and then a certain giggle. I drift to sleep after, having no nightmares, no more drunkards, nor sadness or death.

**XXXXxXXXX**

Day: Still much unknown

Approximately 5 years pass. Knowledge of old life is still known.

After the odd recovery, honestly, I still hope I'm alive. New people are surrounding me and no familiar faces are present. Every day, I ask myself, "_Why am I here, where am I?" _But that can wait. Everything here is nice besides the lack of the internet and huge buildings. The thing that changed more to me is the technology. I don't see cars, airplanes, basically vehicles, nor do I see TVs, radios, nothing similar to that. I don't remember much of my family or friends, which makes me annoyed and makes me feel ignorant at the same time. Some things I do know is my old language, English, advanced math, Attack on Titan, and more stuff. This place is nothing near sounding like English though.

Germanic maybe?

Even though I am still new to this odd world, it looks awfully familiar. I keep on think it is the Shiganshina District. Once I figured that out, I was scared. Afterwards, I asked my 'new' dad what year it was.

_840._

**Authors Note:**

**YAY! I'm done writing this long chapter! I didn't know how to write a babies crying, so don't judge me on the, "WOAHA" sound…**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this thing which I think I worked on for 4 days. And if you guys live in the bay, that storm was huge.**

**Bye people of the world!**


	2. Chapter 2: Things Have Benefits

**Author's Note:**

**I'm back from the dead :D! Sorry that I haven't updated in a looong time, I was trying to figure out if I should carry on with this story, but thanks to our first two commenters and a sick day I've decided to actually make this thing worthwhile. I hope you enjoy the second chapter of 'One Thing I Cannot Explain'. Bu-Bye.**

**P.S. If you see an 'XXXXxXXXX' anywhere, it means that it is switching perspectives and/or goes to another different setting.**

**Also, another P.S, I do not own anything besides the plot line and the OC characters.**

* * *

_Date: 7 / 25 / 835_

_When Astoria was born into a new life._

'_Flashback'_

I hear birds chirping, children screaming, and people talking.

'_Where am I?'_

'_How am I here?'_

'_Where are my friends?'_

These questions were the most popular things I have asked myself by now. They were repeating, I was thinking that if I asked myself more of this over and over, I don't know, I would go insane? You know that feeling when you're completely lost, you've lost hope, love, humanity, but only for a few minutes since your favorite game didn't arrive on time? That's probably how I feel, yet, only 10 times worse.

I felt a hand smoothly caress my head, as I flapped my hands up and down. I looked up and cooed as I saw it was my 'new' mother.

"You're so adorable. Look at her, honey," she said as she slid her other hand out of the blankets and tapped the man standing next to her bed. "Isn't she…? Honey?" She questioned. The tall man looked into my brown eyes. He had black hair, it was messy, although it looked like it was combed. He was wearing a blue shirt under a very dirty jacket. He had a curved nose and a small smile. My 'new' mom smiled, she had pink, defined, lips, exactly like mine. Her hair was a very bright shade of brown as it reached down to her shoulders. Her eyes were green, while my 'new' dad's eyes were brown. She was wearing a bright pink gown, almost reaching a darker color because of the dirt. I knew I lived in a very poor family the moment I saw their messy hair and clothes.

He hesitated, and then spoke, "She is."

**Chapter 2: Things Have Benefits**

I felt myself get picked up and gently placed on my mom's shoulder, she patted me and my back as I felt a drip fall onto it. I turned my head to see if everything was alright, still having those questions in my head. "Thank you…" I heard, muffled into my blanket. My dad walked up to her and ruffled her hair. He hugged her, and then kissed me on my forehead.

I passed out again.

**XXXXxXXXX**

Date: 8 / 4 / 840

5 years have passed since I was born. My parents were taking care of me and actually doing the things parents should do. They're nothing like my old parents. Instead of giving me hard times, they're lifting up my spirits and trying to give me things that are absolutely necessary to have. I've learned how to walk and talk at an earlier age than expected. Over the past few times with them, I needed to know what was happening. Why I was transported here. I wanted my old life back, but at the same time, I needed this life. At least I thought. Each time my father came home, I would always hear him complain about how the politics are, especially about the garrisons. At first I had no idea what he was talking about except the fact that garrisons are people who protect or fight for the king. As time passed, I realized that this situation of royalty and the army had something in there that seemed awfully familiar.

My dad blurted out things about how the food is turning horrid and why the Military Police Brigade and the Survey Corps get 'it all'. At this point, I was frozen in thought. I tried to calm myself by saying that it was just a dream, everything is not real and the whole world around me is telling lies. It has to be, there's no such thing as the Survey Corps. I even tried slapping myself once my parents weren't looking. I knew my mom completely agreed about how 'piggy' the people are, so that led her to speak to him. "These stomachs won't feed themselves. Why can't they just worry about the citizens for one fuc-," She stopped there and caught herself. "Why can't they worry about us for once?" They kept on ranting about the society and trying to guess when the place is going to collapse.

"Mother?" I squeaked, trying to find out what question I can ask.

"Yes, daughter?" She smiled. I saw her quickly look back at her husband in a 'Get-your-attention-over-here' stare. He did what he was told.

"… I was w-wondering… If… If we can go for a stroll." I heard her giggle.

"Of course we can, right, honey?" She then looked at him. He quickly nodded as if he were reading a script. My mom scooted out of her chair and walked towards me. She opened her arms to signal me to come and grab her. As I did this she hugged me and picked me off my feet in ease. I rested my chin on her shoulder as she glanced at her husband and smiled a warm, sweet, one. The ground shook as I was being carried to my room where she decided to change my clothes and make me wear something not too fancy, nor ragged.

After a few minutes later, I heard her say her goodbyes to her husband. I waved my delicate little hand goodbye too as I gently smiled. She grabbed her purse, trying not to make me fall off her shoulder, and snatched her keys quickly, making sure that it didn't slip out of her hands like it always did. In the back, I caught a bit of a snicker from my dad.

She unlocked the door as she then put her keys into her pocket. My mom opened the door and then closed it, letting her husband get ready for dinner. She trusted him since he was amazing at cooking. Pretty weird, right?

**XXXXxXXXX**

_A few minutes after leaving the house with my mom_

We walked together, hand-in-hand, towards the little field. It was about half the size as a football field, accept more natural and greener. My mom and I found a perfect shady spot for us to relax and sit down at. I plopped down on my bottom and played with the grass, ripping out some of the green, soft, shards growing from the soil. "Sweetie, respect the place if it respects you." She simply replied. My mom would always have things to say if it involved having a moral.

"Sorry…" I hesitated. I saw her grin at the corner of my eye. I giggled warmly as she patted my head like a dog.

"I can just imagine you growing up to be a beautiful woman," She blurted out from the blue. "I mean, your silky hair is going to be soooo long." My mom grabbed my cheeks softly and moved them up and down. At this point, I had forgotten all of my troubles.

"Momma!" I shouted, laughing. The sun was glazing above us, seemingly mocking a light bulb in a tiny closet, and illuminating every shadow in its path. She began tickling me as I fell over. I tried with all my might to make her stop, it failed, and I started to cry from laughing. "Momma, stop it," I catched some air, "Stop it!" She finally finished and stopped 'torturing' me.

"You're so cuuute~!" She screamed softly. My mom patted my back as she helped me get up. Once she did that, I flinched in fear of it happening again. "I love you, Astoria!" She explained. I smiled back.

"I love you too, M-Momma." I glared at the grass, hiding the emotion on my face. I remembered that I still had other people that I cared for and loved for. They were all gone, everyone one of them besides these people. I decided to look back up at the brunette. I did this rather quickly that it hurt my neck. "Owie!" I yelled. That caught my mom's attention.

"What's wrong?" She asked politely. She pulled me closer and hugged me.

"I hurt my neck," I replied, "It hurts."

"Awww, it's gonna be okay." She spoke softly and her words were very caring. I put my chin on her shoulder and enjoyed the scenery. Children were playing with their parents and elders were talking with each other. It sure wasn't like those other times though. This certain man caught my attention, though. He had a creepy stare and torn clothes. I couldn't catch his hair color, but I saw something shine in his pocket. This scared me.

"Momma… I-I wanna go h-home." I stuttered. A shiver shot straight up my spine when I saw him approach a child playing with another.

He pulled out his weapon and jabbed it straight into the others back. I saw blood shoot everywhere while the child's friend stood there, trying to process what was happening. My eyes were open like I saw my mom after a year. Instead, this was horrible, a killer.

"Momma! That man just-! That man just killed someone!" I picked up my arm and pointed at the figure.

"Don't be silly, honey," She giggled, "We live in a safe neighborho-" She stopped.

"M-Momma," I felt another shiver race up my spine. "Momma, w-what happened?" I didn't dare to look behind me. Out of nowhere, I felt a warm liquid on my stomach. I clenched her shirt. "Are y-you alright?" I was being dragged by something. As I was rolling off of my mom's shoulder I saw a red color. I didn't remember her having any red on. Then it hit me. That was blood, very, very, dark red. Something I wished I wouldn't see in my life again. "Mommy…" She fell over; revealing the shard that went straight through her once the handle hit the ground. Blood was squirting everywhere, it was hitting my face, the grass, our blanket, that lovely tree.

I turned my head around slowly, hoping I wouldn't feel a sharp pain in my neck. This man was hiding. He was in a poorly made hat with dark glasses covering up most of his beard as it inched closer towards the group, jumping up every step he took. His jacket was black and was running down to his knees. The pants were very long and silky.

My hair was getting red stains on it from the blood. My ankles felt sore because of the tight grip he was forcefully putting down with his hands. I tugged at my mom's leg, hoping this was a cruel joke. How stupid was I? My eyes kept on flashing images of the knife, penetrating her stomach and making her eyes go wide.

"STOP IT!" I yelled on the top of my lungs. He kept on dragging me. I flailed my legs at his face, hoping to kick him. My hands tightly held onto the ground, but, unfortunately, he pulled me off of it.

"MOMMA! MOMMA, WAKE UP!" I cried out. "Momma, please!"

'_Let yourself go.'_

'_Do your best, Astoria.'_

I heard my mom, my other mom, I heard her talk. I still remember her voice. Her voice was calming; it had a ring that I've never heard before. At this point, I snapped, something inside me couldn't take this anymore.

I kicked and flailed my legs around, feeling something touch my shoe. A cracking sound bounced off. I felt my eye twitch.

"_No more."_

I kicked again, this time, hitting his glasses and another shatter was heard.

"FUCK!" I heard him scream. His glasses were shattered and some went inside his eye. I kicked once again and hit his forehead, hard. He finally let go of my ankles and I squirmed free. One part of me wanted to kill him, another wanted to run. But, what he did to my mom was agonizing. I needed revenge.

I felt my eye twitch again, then my hand.

"You bastard," I spoke, "What the fuck is wrong with your head…?" There it was. A word I promised myself never to say. His sandpaper hands were covering his eye as blood oozed out. "Why the hell are you doing this?"

My head twitched.

My eyes were wide. Then, all of a sudden, a smile formed on my lips.

I walked slowly towards him as he scooted backwards.

"Stop it. Little shit, stop it!" He screamed. What was happening? I can't control myself. I just need to kill him. I grabbed the other knife that the man dropped and tightened my grip around it. I certainly felt a crack in my knuckles while doing this. "What are you doing, bitch?!" He yelled in a confused tone. I didn't answer. I ran straight at him, ignoring my surroundings. My bangs hit my face as I felt the wind touch my body. Everything went slow once the bloodstained knife went through his neck.

I killed him. As I let go of the blade, I've realized what I've done, I've never seen a monster like this. I've never seen a monster in me. My hands were shaking wildly as I pushed my palms towards my bloody face.

"_What have I done?"_ My voice wobbled. I felt my knees collapse and fall to the ground as my eyes start blurring. A tear ran down my cheek as the twitching had stopped. _"Am I the monster?" _I asked myself. I turned around, my neck's pain acting up again.

"GAH!" I screamed in agony. The pain was heading towards my chin, then to my face. My fingers curled into a fist as I tried to shout. Nothing came and after a few seconds, I saw nothing but a black void.

**XXXXxXXXX**

Date: 3 / 30 / 844

_3 years after the murder_

My dad thought I was a demon, he thought I was the one who killed his wife and the mysterious man. Although I only killed one person, I knew I was a monster, a demon, anything horrific. But the thing is that this was coming from my father, the man I spent 5 years with enjoying the company of. All this time, all these 5 years, all of it was wasted because of the murder. I try to forget, but I can't forget the images of my mother, the knife, and the corpses. This led me going to an orphanage with him pretending that he found me on the streets and going home himself.

'_Where's your mother?! What the hell happened to you, what did you do, child?!'_

Those words came from my dad. He was heartbroken once I told him the news, excluding me killing a man. Unfortunately, my dad being the smart one also, he thought that I had too much blood, making him yell at me. Now, here I am, with a notebook filled with English words to help me remember that language. The other pages are filled with the math problems, science, language arts, social studies, all that stuff to help me. I held onto another book having the information of Attack on Titan, since, of course, I need to know when those special occasions arrive, especially since its Eren's birthday and somewhere next year, the Colossus will break the Wall.

Having extra time on my hands being in an orphanage, I thought I would always go out and exercise. Surprisingly, I was still athletic. I practiced tons of times, having reached my goal. I've decided to work harder and push myself. This has led me to a larger amount of stamina and more. I think I might be ready for the collapse. Well, possibly. After I work out, I usually rest then go out and buy food. For some reason, the owners of the orphanage trust me, letting me get food. I completely disagree because of my past. I frequently walk towards the bakery near the entrance of Wall Maria. That's where I constantly eat if I'm feeling sad or bored, just like my other life. As I opened the antique door, I heard a ring coming from the corner. "Good morning, Sarah." I delicately said.

"Mornin', Astoria." She gladly replied. "I didn't get many customers since 8." I saw her reach for the chocolate in the cupboard. I smiled warmly at her, studying my surroundings.

"It seems you changed this place quite a bit, Sarah." I spoke. Some dark wooden tables were scattered neatly around the room covered in daily washed blankets. If only Levi knew about this place. The windows were cleaned every day, thanks to me and her. Her stand filled with pastries and breads were across from the entrance where a light brown rug was lied out on the clean, wooden, floor. Like every typical restaurant, there were boards hanging above the stand which had the foods they sell.

"Yep, glad you noticed, little one." She rubbed my shoulder playfully. "I'm guessing today is your allowance?" She asked. I nodded quickly, hoping that I scrubbed the tables extra hard to actually get more than $30. She stuck her hand inside the register and pulled out bills. "Here ya' go." She held out her hand having neatly stacked dollars in them. Sarah was like a mother to me. After the 'incident' with my biological mother, she stepped in place once I was sent into the orphanage. She had very dark brown hair and blue eyes. Her nose was curvier then mine and her cheeks popped out a little. Her face was circular and Sarah's age was somewhere between her late 20's – her early 30's. I didn't want to ask her or else it would seem rude.

"Thanks, Sarah." I sweetly said. "By the way… Um, have you, by anytime seen a boy named Eren? Or a girl named Mikasa, even a blonde guy name Armin?" I quietly asked.

"Why're you obsessed with those two kids?" Sarah blurted. "Don't get into any trouble with them anyway, I've heard 'bout them causing fights with the older guys a few blocks down." Her short, brown, hair swayed around as she payed attention to the oven.

"I wasn't planning on doing that; it's just… personal matters." I hesitated. She sighed as she pulled out a pie and set the fire out with a small bucket of water. The aroma filled the room of tables and chairs. "But… If you do, Sarah, make sure to talk to me about-" Fresh out of the blue, the door was pushed open by 4 figures, 3 of them seemed to be the same height as me, but the other a bit smaller. The taller one had to be their parent.

"Speaking of the devil…" Sarah whispered. Voices began to speak up telling one person to 'be quiet' or to 'shut up'. The shine of the sun from outside almost came to an end as the door was close to being slammed shut. One kid, looking as angry as ever, started to push a black haired girl with a beautiful scarf farther left. Another kid with a blue, thin, jacket tried his best to keep the angry kid away. The taller figure seemed like she couldn't handle this anymore and stopped trying. The light from outside faded as the dark figures outlined people. "These people, Astoria, are the devils you needed." My expression was looking like a surprised monkey… Literally. As soon as the people looked straight at us, my expression rapidly came to a blank look.

"Hello, how may I help you today?" Sarah spoke up, trying to hide a laugh because of the look on my face.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but, may you please excuse me for a second?" The young women across from her politely asked.

"Do what you please." The women turned around and pulled the young brunette by his arm, trying to conceal her face from Sarah. The women let go of his arm once they were next to the doorway and it appeared to look like she was giving him a quick lecture. I quickly glanced at Sarah, then back at the two kids next to the counters looking at the food. The blonde kid opened his mouth in awe as he started pointing at the foods inside the glass containers. The black haired girl had her hands in her pockets because of the crazy weather outside. She scanned the cakes while quickly getting peeks of the boy and his mother. I couldn't just stand there for the rest of my life trying to figure out if these guys were the famous little kids, I needed to act, and swiftly.

"H-hi there." I stuttered, hoping I got their attention. "I'm Astoria." I smiled awkwardly afterwards.

"I'm Armin, nice to meet you." The blonde said. "This is Mikasa, she's Eren's brother from back… Back there." His hand gestured back towards the brunette getting yelled at.

"Oh, I see." I blankly said, trying to process what was going on. "Well, it would be nice to know what you guys would l-like." I moved my hand forward for him to shake it. He did automatically and I just stared at the two hands shaking. "S-sorry, uh, would you guys like anything?" I quickly asked, letting go of his hand.

"Well, it's up to Eren back there; it's his birthday, anyway." Armin quietly said. Mikasa's hand got out of her right pocket and caught my attention by putting it in front of me, ordering me to shake it. I smiled uneasily and shook it making me hand turn warm quickly. Her hand slid away and back into her fluffy pocket. I knew they just took her in. She doesn't seem as calm as she usually does in the show, or should I say in real life? She even flinched once she touched my hand. "Eren's mom's name is Carla, but just call her ma'am if you want." I nodded in agreement.

Carla came walking over to us with Eren behind her. "I'm terribly sorry about that, ma'am, it's just that… That he didn't know what he wanted." She tried to convince her with a smile as she dragged him to the front.

"Why is he... Sad?" I whispered as I asked Armin.

"He didn't want to go to this bakery, is it good though?" He wondered quietly.

"It's outstanding." I simply replied trying my best to keep my voice down. I saw him smile at the corner of my eye. I never knew how adorable Armin could be at times.

"It's alright, ma'am, if you're ready to order, go ahead if you'd like." Sarah respectfully said.

"My son here said he would like a vanilla cake with strawberries. Uhh, number nine I should say."

"Coming right up, ma'am, please feel free to take a seat wherever."

"Thank you, if you don't mind, may I please have your name?"

"Oh, my name's Sarah." Carla smiled before thanking her. She lightly tapped Eren and Armin's shoulders ordering them to move. A few seconds later, they found a spot and sat there, waiting patiently for their food.

"Sarah?" I questioned.

"Yes, little one?"

"May I help with the icing?" She looked at me and rubbed my shoulder.

"Of course."

**XXXXxXXXX**

Date: 10 / 4 / 845

_The day of the fall_

I've become great friends with Armin, Mikasa, and Eren. We've been spending great times with each other. But today, according to my guide book, I needed to get prepared for the 'Fall'. I was shaking and hoping everything would go according to plan. Since I knew that Carla would have a horrible fate and the rest of the kids would stay alive, I had to stay away from them, as much as I bet I wanted to help, I needed to go straight to the ship, even if it meant them hating on me. If I think about it, Eren's mom's death is the thing that triggered him to exterminate all titans. The pressure was getting to me, making me have outbreaks of twitching. Although I had everything planned out, I needed to at least say my last goodbyes to Sarah. If it wasn't a goodbye, it had something to do with telling the truth about me.

**XXXXxXXXX**

Same Day

_Sarah's Bakery_

I pushed open the door as the chime from the bell rang. "Sarah… I need to tell you something." I quickly said. The door slowly closed, leaving a very faint creek.

"Tell me anything, sweetie." She smiled warmly.

"S-Sarah… I'm not normal. I'm not from here."

"What do you mean?"

"I should have told you this earlier… And I know you won't believe me, but, today won't be all nice."

"Astoria… What are you talking about, sweetie?" I sighed in a sorrowful sigh.

"A titan will knock down that wall." My face was dark from the shadows of my bangs as tears were going to fall.

"A-Astoria… Start from the beginning." Her voice was shaking.

"I'm not from this world, Sarah! I don't even know how I came here in the first place!" The air grew thick and silent.

"Come here." She simply stated. I did what I was told. Sarah opened her arms wide wanting a hug. "I just knew it from the beginning. Something wasn't right, especially since a 9-year-old wouldn't know this much knowledge." She smiled in my hair. "I will protect you until the day I die, got that, little one?" I didn't respond. Instead, a tear fell down over my cheek as I snuggled up to her.

"We need to get as far away from this wall as possible and straight towards the boats right now. O-okay?" She nodded as she took my hand and opened the door with the other. Sarah put the sign to 'Closed, come back another time' and ran until we saw the water. We waited until it was time.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Was that a good cliff-hanger or what? Eh? EH?! Okay, fine, whatever, but the good news is that I finally updated this story. I'd appreciate if you R &amp; R, it would make my life filled with sparkles, unicorns, and rainbows. Bu-Bye, Toxic Poo is signing off.**


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